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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Vaughn Humor!

The Vaughn family, being a large family, of course didn't have television or very many toys. Humor was always there for entertainment. So, sit back and enjoy (and get ready to LAUGH!) as I add and post these memories of our beloved family members!

One of the stories I was told; Alfred was in school. One of the boys was considerable large than his fellow classmates. This led to a great deal of bragging on how tough he was. Uncle Alfred told him he could make him move in 30 seconds
without touching him. He had the boy assure him he would not beat him up
if he won. The challenge was accepted. He had the boy sit in the bright
sunshine. Then he took out his magnifying glass and focused on the boy's
neck. In no time the contest was over. (Told By Joseph Harmon Vaughn, son of David Robert Vaughn.)

One of the stories Uncle Bill told me. Gamma (Eve) Vaughn had made
some fresh briskets and set them in the window to cool. Stanley had just
come home from working, was tired and hungry. He asked Bill to get him
one of those fresh smelling biscuits. Bill got two, put a chunk of
butter in his and a chunk of yellow soap in Stanley's. When Stanley bit
down on the soap, Bill ran for the barn. He climbed a ladder, went hand
over hand across a beam and drooped down into the soft hay. Regained his
feet and ran for the house. His brother Stanley was right behind him
gaining ground all the way. Bill was crying "Mom, mom, mom." Mom heard
and arrived in time to save Bill. Uncle Bill told me this story when we
were at the family reunion in 1980. (Told By Joseph Harmon Vaughn, son of David Robert Vaughn.)

Here are some stories told by my grandfather Joseph G. Vaughn of
Entiat. He told me these stories when I was 15 years old about 1942 or
43.
When he was a teenager being raised in Missouri, he caught a large
turtle. He took a pair of pliers, pulled the head out of the shell and
chopped it off. He said it was like trying to chop a rubber hose. After
he had severed the head, he placed it in boiling water to get loose from
the shell. He then made a stew using the meat. He had three young girl
friends that were teenagers. He invited the three for dinner. They were
young growing women and liked to eat. They had bowl number one. Then
they had bowl number two. Being young they ordered bowl number three.
One of the girls asked what kind of meat was in the stew. The first
bowl tasted like pork. The second bowl tasted like beef. The third
bowl, they could not tell. When he told them it was turtle, all three
turned green and lost their meal. Telling the story of some sixty years
previous made him laugh until tears came to his eyes. (Told By Joseph Harmon Vaughn, son of David Robert Vaughn.)

Here is another story of grandfather's childhood. I guess he was
about fourteen, he was on his way to a neighbor, Of course the only way
was to walk. While walking, he saw a lot of quail in one place. On this
particular trip he had neglected to bring his gun. He had a light small
gun he used to hunt. Seeing the quail, it was just too good an
opportunity to pass up. He went to an adjacent house and asked the old
gentleman if he could borrow a gun to take advantage of this great
opportunity. The old gentleman said sure. He hauled out an old flint
stock gun, loaded it and showed young Joe how to use it. Joe was very
excited. He quickly returned ti where he saw the quail. He aimed the
gun and fired. What he did not know, the old gun kicked like a mule.
The recoil of the gun sent him rolling into a patch of vines. He got up
and was he a mess. Of course he did not get one quail. All he could do
was return the old gun to the owner. The old man asked what happened.
When he heard Joe's story he laughed until he had to sit down. Of
course, Joe did not see the humor of the incident. (Told By Joseph Harmon Vaughn, son of David Robert Vaughn.)

When I was about 15, in 1943, Grandfather Joseph G. came to Bellingham for a week or so. He and I rode bikes for about 2 blocks. Grandpa said it was 40 years since he rode a bike and it would be 40 years before he would ride again. he told about the first bike, had a large wheel in front and a small wheel in back. If you hit a small hole, it would send you over the handle bars. The first bikes, like our modern day bike was called a "Safety Bike." It had no breaks. The pedals kept turning all the time. Then they came out with a place to put your shoe against the tire. In a short time it gave you the hot foot. (Told By Joseph Harmon Vaughn, son of David Robert Vaughn.)

Grandfather Joseph G. Vaughn of Entiat took Stanley, Bill and David
on a hunt for meat. I think Stanley was about 15 which would Make Bill
about 12 and David about 11. They were on one side of the river looking
across the river there was a patch of brush with an open spot on each
side. Grandfather said to the boys. "Now be quiet, I saw a bear in that
patch of brush">
Stanley said to Bill, "Hey Bill there's a bear in that brush". He
was very excited and said this at the top of his lungs.
Bill was not to be out done. At the top of his lungs, "Hey Dave,
there's a bear up there.
Of course the bear heard them so he ran at top speed for heavier
cover. Grandpa shot him while he was running. The bear doubled up and
rolled downhill toward the river. Grandpa shot 6 times at the rolling
bear hitting him 5 times out of the six. They crossed the river, located
the dead bear. They cut him up and each had to carry some of the meat
home.
Another story told to me. My dad, David was I guess about 14 at the
time. A number of them went hunting. On the hunt, David had a 22 rifle.
He was a short way from camp. Hearing a noise, he ventured closer and
behold it was a bear. He knew he dare not shoot a bear with a 22. He
would be just as effective throwing rocks. The safest route was to run
for camp. Being very excited he ran for camp yelling at the top of his
lungs, "Bear, bear". There was an old man at camp. He looked up and saw
young Dave running toward camp. There was a small log, I guess about two
feet in diameter. Dave cleared this log on the run. The old man loved
to tell the story of how scared young Dave was and how he cleared the log
on the run. Each time he told the story, the log grew by 6 inches.
Before he died, it was a 6 foot high log Dave cleared on the run.
One more story for tonight. Uncle Bill took Stanley's youngest son
hunting for dear. I do not know how old Lowell was at the time. You
might check with him. As I was told, Bill and Lowell were some distance
apart. All of a sudden Bill heard Lowell yell, "Uncle Bill, a Buck.
Uncle Bill, a buck." He was so excited.
Uncle Bill went down to where Lowell was. Of course the dear had
fled. "Now Lowell, next time you see a buck, take careful aim, fire, and
then Yell."
It was not long after Bill heard a shot from Lowell's rifle. Then
he heard, "Uncle Bill, I got him, Uncle Bill I got him." Bill went to
where Lowell was. The buck had been shot right between the eyes.(Told By Joseph Harmon Vaughn, son of David Robert Vaughn.)

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